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Transracial Adoption Information
Transracial adoption information for people who plan to or are raising a child of a different race or culture.
When she was very small, my Guatemalan daughter preferred her white baby doll to the darker ones I also gave her.
It surprised me at the time, but according to Lois Ruskai Melina, author of the book, Raising Adopted Children
, it's also not unusual.
Children of a different race or culture raised by white parents tend to identify more closely with their parents and think of themselves as white.
This is one of the main reasons some people are opposed to transracial adoptions, but it can also cause problems for your child when she reaches adolescence.
While it's great your daughter or son identifies with you so strongly, you don't want your children to be ashamed of their race or consider themselves to be inferior because they're not white.
The Beauty of Race and Culture
My daughter's race and culture is an amazing part of who she is.
She comes from the Mayans, a people who had a fully developed written language long before many other people in their area, along with their own unique art, fantastic architecture, a mathematical system, and knowledge of astronomy.
As adoptive parents, it's our responsibility to make sure our transracially adopted children realize that their ethnicity and heritage are part of what make them the truly awesome people God intended them to be.
So how do we do that?
Transracial Adoption Information
Actively Work to Value Their Culture
Melina warns adoptive parents to not just give lip service to your child's culture, but actively involve yourself in it.
Don't just take your child occasionally to a Chinese restaurant.
Instead, learn Chinese cooking with your child and study the Chinese language together.
Also, don't pursue your child's culture out of a sense of duty, but instead show a true interest in your child's culture and heritage.
Learn to Appreciate Other Cultures
Filling your home with artifacts reflecting your child's culture such as this Mayan wall sculpture demonstrate your appreciation of your child's culture.
While it's important to read Korean folk tales to your Korean daughter, don't forget to read her stories from other cultures as well.
Teach your child to not only be proud of her own ethnic heritage, but also to recognize the value of other cultures and heritages as well.
Transracial Adoption Information
Realize the Culture of Adoptees
And finally, recognize that while your daughter will learn to appreciate both your culture, and that of her native country, she will also have her own culture unique to children who have been adopted internationally.
So encourage your child to seek friendships with children who have been adopted from other countries.
Find a local international adoption support group to find other couples in your area who have adopted from your child's country.
Your child will benefit from interacting with other kids who understand what it's like to walk in her shoes.
Do you need to learn Spanish fast? Click here.
How to Become a Positive Parent
Teach your children that good behavior will lead to positive benefits.
There are a number of ways to do this, including using a parenting program that allows children to earn tickets for demonstrating good behaviors and positive values.
Learn to modify your child's behavior by watching your language.
By stating commands in the positive rather than the negative, you can teach your children in subtle, yet powerful ways.
You can practice better discipline methods by teaching your children that it is their behavior, rather than your anger, that has both positive and negative outcomes, eliminating your anger and frustration in the process.
Peace at Home
There are excellent programs out there to help you with this goal.
The important thing is to take a positive step toward positive reinforcement parenting.
Your home will become more harmonious, and you'll all be happier and live in a more peaceful environment.
More Information on Raising Adopted Children
Do you long to adopt more children, but feel like you can't afford it?
Finances are the number one reason many children do not adopt a second or third child. But it can be done.
We adopted all three of our children without going into debt. So can you.
Learn how.
Are you single and thinking about adopting? It can be tough to be a kid raised by a single parent, but there are also advantages to being a single parent.
Adopted children who are now grown can tell us a lot about how to raise an adopted child. Here are some tips.
The first time you hold that precious child in your arms, you may be tempted to protect her from every conceivable harm. But that may not be the best thing for her.
Here are some reasons to avoid helicopter parenting.
Although it is rare, there are failed international adoptions. Learn the warning signs before it is too late by reading this article.
When celebrities like Madonna are raising adopted children, it has an impact on international adoption for both good and ill. Learn how.
Learning about adoption does not have to be a major or traumatic issue for your child. Learn some useful tips on telling her about her adoption here.
Good parenting skills are something most adoptive parents are thinking about while on their international adoption journey.
We truly appreciate these precious children and want to raise them the best way we know how. Read more.
Raising adopted children through a permissive parenting style is an easy trap for adoptive parents to fall into, but if you choose to parent your child without rules both you and your child will suffer for it.
Read more.
Sign language is a great tool for anyone raising adopted children, especially internationally adopted children by providing parents with an easier way of communication during those early days and easing frustration for their child.
Read more.
Most adoption stories are told from the parent's perspective.
It was truly refreshing, therefore, when I stumbled across the story of one adoptee who reunited with her family in Taiwan.
Read more.
An international adoption resource to help parents effectively communicate with their newly adopted children was the goal of one adoptive mom when she created Russian for Adoptive Parents and Chinese for Adoptive Parents.
These programs teach parents comfort phrases in their children's native languages. Read more.
Having a learning disabled child is likely, especially if you adopt more than one child internationally or even domestically.
But these children can be just as intelligent as any other child, and raising adopted children with learning disabilities can be delightful, although they will have their own unique challenges.
Children that are adopted; what's the rest of their story?
What happens to them when they are grown, and how do they feel about being adopted?
International Adoption Facts and Information is starting a new series where we hear the stories of adults who were adopted internationally as children.
This is the first in that series.
Adopted children and parents who are raising adopted children are no different from any other relationship between a parent and child.
It's not biology that makes a relationship, but rather time, devotion and love.
Here is one adopted person's story.
International adoption Mexico is one person's story of being born in Mexico and then eventually be adopted in the United States.
Adopted child syndrome - ever heard of it?
Basically, it's a controversial label used to explain hurtful and destructive behaviors in adopted children such as violence, defiant behavior, lying, stealing and reactive attachment disorder.
If your child has been diagnosed with ADHD, take heart; it's not nearly as difficult to raise a child with ADHD as you may think.
But please do think twice before putting him on a prescription medication.
Learn more.
Want to build your newly adopted child's immune system, protecting him from a host of nasty bacterial, viral and fungal infections?
Feed him this healthy oil.
For the best bonding experience in the world plus the best nutrition for your newly adopted baby, consider breastfeeding him.
Yes, it can be done. Read more.
Have you ever wondered what the phrase, positive parenting means? It's learning to focus on the positives rather than the negatives.
Learn more.
Looking for ways to raise your children without nagging or yelling?
Read more.
What happens if the child you adopt is displaying autistic tendencies? Take heart; he or she will very likely improve with time.
Learn more.
Nobody wants to adopt a child with serious emotional problems, but being prepared for the unexpected is the best way to successful parenting and preventing a disrupted adoption.
Learn more.
Understanding the reasons why siblings fight is a good way to prevent rivalries and promote family harmony.
Learn more.
Adoption books are a great way to explain adoption to young children and open the door for discussion about sensitive adoption issues such as birth parents, and why your child was placed for adoption.
Here are some great books your child will love.
Read more.
Learning to cook ethnic recipes from your child's country of birth will be a comfort to your older child and a great learning experience for children adopted at a younger age.
Read more.
If you're waiting for your adopted child to be grown before telling him he's adopted, you may be doing more harm than good.
Here's why.
If your child is of another race, make sure you teach your child to be proud of his race and to appreciate his and other cultures.
Learn more.
When a child is adopted internationally, he must not only deal with the shock of new parents, but also often a new language, customs and even different food.
Follow these tips to make the transition easier.
It's always best to be open with your child about his adoption, but how do you approach the subject with him?
Here are some tips.
Your grown child is looking for his birthparent. So should you feel threatened?
Absolutely not.
Here's why.
Are you worried that your newly adopted child is so different you won't be able to attach to her?
Then you need to read this article.
Click here.
As adoptive parents, we often place high expectations on ourselves as parents and it's easy to become discouraged.
That's when it's time to realize you're a normal parent with normal feelings.
Read more.
A birth mother who searches for, and even comes back to take back a child she has given up for adoption.
Is this possible?
This issue was addressed recently in the hit show Glee, when teen mom Quinn, who had given up her baby for adoption in a previous season, announced she wanted to get her daughter back.
Read more.
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